Monday

Sigh. They suck and I'm not feeling too well.
So until next time.

Day 10

Today is Day 10 of my NaBloPoMo challenge and I’m STILL WRITING!!!!

Ok, yes overuse of exclamation marks but I am very excited. I’ve never managed to get this far in a blogging challenge (which says a lot about my stamina :P).

It’s hard thinking of a blog post everyday (which is why on some days I think out loud and use it as an excuse for a blog post…like right now). But, it’s also fun. Sometimes whilst writing my post, I often come up with another topic, another issue I’d like to blog about. And that is why I love blogging, why I love writing – it stimulates me. It gives me the intellectual hard-on that I crave for but seldom achieve via my daily conversations with people (barring a few people of course).

Here’s hoping, I get through this challenge with a stack of good posts and that my blogging lasts beyond July 31^st. (*fingers crossed)

*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

Giving without money

In keeping with the tone of my last two posts, I’d just like to say there are millions of people across the world that need some help, in some form. Most people I know want to give a little back, help out someone who is less privileged and I know many, many people who regularly donate to a charity of their choice. Sadly, it’s impossible to donate to every charity, every cause that needs help. Sometimes, even with all the good intentions to help, you may not be in a financial position to make a donation. And that’s fine.

If you want to give but money isn’t an option, you can consider volunteering. Non-profit organisations are always looking for volunteers. Pick a cause and see what opportunities are available in your area.

Donations don’t always have to involve money. I do a wardrobe cleanout every six months or so and instead of just throwing my clothes out, I take them to the local Red Cross or Salvation Army store – because I know someone might need them. The same goes for household goods (in working condition) too.

If you are money and time poor, I’d like to share this article with you – 7 Easy Ways to Do Good Online Beyond Donations. It’s an online world and there are many, many ways you can “give” online. In addition to the resources shared in the article, I’d like to add the UN’s online volunteering website.

Oh and if you love words, Free Rice is an amazing way to do your bit. It’s a vocabulary game and for every answer you get right, you donate rice to feed some hungry mouths. Come on, you’ve gotta love that!

You may not be able to help everyone, but if you help one person, one cause – it makes a difference. Besides, it racks up a lot of good karma. Trust me. But more on that later.

*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

Take Your Dreams And Go Back To Where You Came From

I live in la-la land a lot of the time. I will hide behind the excuse that I’m an Aquarian and we reserve the right to be dreamers. ;-)

We went through some tough financial times as a family and of course at times it was very depressing. But my parents, my dad in particular, is infectiously optimistic and a dreamer. They always encouraged us to dream and dream big – assuring us that we shouldn’t worry about how to make the dreams come true. It’ll work itself out, they promised.

In The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho writes “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

It’s a simple but beautiful line. I love you Mr Coelho and The Alchemist is one of my favourite books, but I think my parents beat you to the punch. They’ve been telling me this since as far back as I can remember. They are wiser than I believed at the time. It did work out for us and my sister and I have realised many of our dreams and are en route to fulfilling some more.

I’m still a dreamer but at 26, I’m slightly jaded too and I know fulfilling those dreams would’ve been near impossible in a less fortunate environment and I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had.

In yesterday’s post I talked about the children in the Kenyan refugee camp and their dreams. The power of believing in your dreams is incredible. Sometimes, it’s all you have. These kids have lost everything, live their lives in limbo in a refugee camp that is only marginally safer than their war-torn homeland – but they still have big dreams. It’s sad because you wonder if the universe is conspiring on their behalf too?

It’s a Catch-22. Without their dreams for their future, life would probably seem very bleak to them. But, how many of these dreams are biting the dust?

When you tell a refugee family to “go back to where you came from”, you are not only denying them their right to life, but killing the dreams and hopes of young children who have little else to live for. 


*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

Go Back To Where You Came From: A Reaction

A few weeks ago SBS aired its controversial documentary/reality TV show ‘Go Back To Where You Came From’ where six Australians had a firsthand experience of refugee life – from staying in detention centres in Australia, to halfway houses in Malaysia, Jordan and Kenya; to going back to where it all starts in Iraq and Congo – interacting with real refugees and learning their stories.

**SPOILER ALERT** - If you haven’t seen the show, I will be discussing some bits below, just you know.

The show has been hotly debated since and everything else apart, I think it was just useful in showing people some realities of life without first-world privileges and why people flee and seek refuge. The fact that it created a national debate is important in itself.

Denying asylum to genuine refugees is a violation of basic human rights - denying them the right to "life, liberty and security of person", at the very least. It’s as simple as a dying man asking you for a drop of water that will save his life and you turning your face away. Australia is a big BIG country and we have a lot of room for refugees and just a blanket “Stop the Boats” policy is not humane.

Yes, it is important to ensure we don’t encourage non-genuine refugees to take advantage of this. Integration and societal assimilation are very important too. But those are secondary issues. It’s easy to sit on your couch and pass judgment on the “queue jumpers” telling them to wait in line, like everyone else. It’s easy to say you would wait in line if you were in the situation. But if your life was in danger and you couldn’t see a way out, would you wait or would get on a boat to find some hope?

The show stirred many emotions in everyone – making some angry, some cry and making some others even more jaded than before. For me, there is a bit in Episode 3 that touched me more than anything else – where a man waits in a Kenyan refugee camp for his fate to be decided, having fled war crimes in Congo. He says something to the effect “…all we ask for is tomorrow”.

You and I, we take tomorrow for granted. We assume tomorrow will come.

“What should I wear tomorrow?”; “How am I going to get through tomorrow on $10?”; “I need to call mum tomorrow”….We may stress about how to deal with tomorrow, and the tomorrows after but we never question if we will see tomorrow.

But for these people, there hope lies in just seeing tomorrow and they are literally living one day at a time.

His children talk about their dreams; dreams of becoming doctors, engineers, teachers…and it really puts things in perspective. If I dreamed about becoming a doctor, I’d only have to work hard enough for it. But for these kids, working hard doesn’t guarantee them the opportunity to realise these dreams. Yet, they dream. And they pray for tomorrow.

*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

Do I Look Fat In This?

Its funny (not funny haha, but youknow) how girls everywhere have some variant of a body image issue. Too fat. Too thin. Too dark. Too pale. Big ass. Small boobs. You know the drill.

Country specific culture usually determines the dominant body image issue women usually subscribe to. But the overall problem of a negative body image is a universal phenomenon I’ve noticed. The fashion industry, popular culture and women themselves, form the terrible triad influencing women about an idealised (probably non-existent) body type that women should aspire to.

Australian women (like most women from Westernised societies) are chiefly concerned with weight issues and fat talk. Secondary issues of course include aspirations for the perfect breasts, the perfect face or the perfect tan.

Best market for: Anything that promises weight loss without any hard work. Not surprising that Jenny Craig started here. Plastic surgery too is booming. 

A common matrimonial ad for a bride in India includes “fair/ slim/ convent educated”. Fair of course really means less dark than the next best applicant. It’s not a post-colonial hangover like some people seem to think. Indians don’t want to be white as in Caucasian. They want to be fair-skinned like many North Indians are.  In ancient times, the North Indians were the ruling upper class who dominated the darker-skinned Indians. The definition of beautiful was an upper class woman so obviously an ordinary woman wanted to look like her fair-skinned counterpart. The upper class has gone but the obsession with fair skin is going nowhere.

Weight related negativity is also gaining increasing amounts of traction.

Best market for: Fairness creams. Quick fix weight loss is also a burgeoning market.

Have you heard of medical tourism? Latin American countries like Argentina, Bolivia, Colombia, Mexico and a few others are hotspots for cosmetic surgery tourism. Colombian women are known for their love of cosmetic surgery. Think there’s a body image issue hidden there somewhere?

Best market for: Cosmetic surgery. Duh.  

Even Chinese women of yore weren’t free of the guilt. Women with large feet were unacceptable because they weren’t feminine. Cue foot-binding practices. Cruel and painful yes. But we women, we do anything for fashion and to look like the “ideal” woman who isn’t.

Best market for: Feminine footwear – especially size 5 and under.

And then are teenage girls. They are being bombarded by a variety of sources that tell them what “perfect” is. When an adult woman struggles with societal pressure on how she should look; what chance does a teenage girl have of coming out unscathed? A teenage girl worries about every part of her body and that is being fully exploited of course.

Best market for: Guilt tripping.

If you’re expecting a lecture on how “society” needs to stop making it so hard for women to be the way they are – it’s not happening. Society is made up you and me.


*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

Would have, could have, should have…

At some point or the other, we’re all sucked into this circle of regrets and the more we wallow, the deeper we get sucked into the vortex. But when you’re busy wallowing, who has the time to be wise? For most people wisdom comes retrospectively.

Ditto.

In the last year or so, I have lost and found myself (for lack of a better way to say it). A lot of this time was spent wallowing in regrets. Wishing I would have/could have/should have…. Needless to say, a lot of time has been wasted. This overwhelming sea of regrets I seemed to be drowning in came as a surprise to me however. I have always looked to the future positively but this past year all I looked at was the past and second-guessed every semi-important decision I’ve made.

But then, life cannot be lived in rewind. I’ve always believed that. Of course I have not completely absolved myself of all regrets and negativity. I’m a work in progress – I will always be. On the whole however, I like being positive. I have quixotic views of the world sometimes, I’ll admit. But I like being an optimist and seeing the good in people and the world in general. It’s what makes me a happier person I’ve realised.


*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

The power of music

Today I’ve been listening to a lot of Thomas Newman. He’s done the music for a number of big movies and some of my favourites include The Road to Perdition and the score for The Shawshank Redemption.

While thinking of a blog post for today, my mind kept going back to the music that’s been my soundtrack for the day.  I know I’m not the first to say this but isn’t the power of music unbelievable? I have no musical talent whatsoever yet music is so important to me – in the way it affects my mood; in the way it makes me feel. Music and emotions go hand in hand for me.

Of course I know I’m not the first person to marvel at music. Studies have found music can be a powerful healing tool for the recovery of people suffering from diseases like stroke and Alzheimer’s.  And then of course, there is no denying the claims of studies that assert music is “one of the best de-stressors”.

There isn’t much in this world that is universally significant and important in every culture. Music however, transcends culture, age, time, language, place, species and any other traditional barriers you could think of. Music creates universal meaning.

“Music does bring people together. It allows us to experience the same emotions. People everywhere are the same in heart and spirit.” ~ Anonymous

*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

Day 3

Day 3 of the blogging challenge. Today I am exhausted. I know it's the weekend but it's been busy and tiring so hello and tomorrow I will write something coherent.

*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

The 'M' Word

I read this article on multiculturalism and it pretty much sums up the Australian view on the pros of cons of living in a multicultural society right now. There isn’t a black and white to this issue unfortunately – there are various shades of grey.

While I haven't been in Australia for very long, I have been here long enough to agree with this comment the writer makes "...people’s understanding of multiculturalism has evolved over the past few decades and, in some circles, it has become a bit of a dirty word, often blamed for all that is wrong with our country."

Immigration and multiculturalism are unfortunately becoming causes of worry – sometimes out of ignorance; sometimes as a mere human reaction to protect what is familiar.

Australia IS multicultural. There is no denying that and trying to deny its cultural diversity is silly and ignorant. However, making this cultural diversity non-divisive and a national strong point is an issue that the country needs to deal with better.

“Multicultural” Australia needs to be an all-inclusive term because at present,”multiculturalism” seems to connote everything that is not Anglo-Saxon Australian.  It’s not Anglo Saxons vs. the rest of the Australian population. It’s the entire population that is multicultural and Australia’s challenge is making this multiculturalism work in everyone’s favour – not just immigrants, not just citizens, not just refugees – but for every Australian.

*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

Multiculturalism? Cliche Much?

For my NaBloPoMo challenge this month, my general theme is 'Multiculturalism', as I mentioned in my previous post. "Multicultural" is a much, much overused word in Australia right now but that doesn't mean it's any less relevant. It has many, many aspects to it and is something I find very interesting.

Back when I first started this blog, the idea was to talk about being a permanent alien. No, not the green kind with antennae but a cultural alien. I've spoken about this before - that when you're an immigrant you eventually end up belonging to two (or more) cultures and then on some days, you feel like you don't belong anywhere at all. To me, this used to be depressing but I've realised it's very liberating actually.

Nationality and ethnicity factor in to our identity to such a large degree that it is nice to be able to transcend that I suppose. I don't disregard either of the two cultures I belong to yet at the same time - there are things about both the Indian and Australian cultures that I could never identify with. It's interesting to say the least.

But more than my own personal "multiculturalism", what interests me more is what I learn from my exposure to multiculturalism. I have learned how similar some things are in all cultures, how some courtesies go beyond just culture, how some idiosyncrasies are unique to a particular culture and that "normal" is a relative term.

*This post is part of the NaBloPoMo challenge for July 2011.

NaBloPoMo - Ok, I'm doing it!

I signed up for NaBloPoMo - in short it's a challenge where you have to post to your blog, every day, for a month. I've seen Psych Babbler do it a number of times and seeing as I have such little motivation to blog, I figured this might be a good prompt.

I am starting it on the 1st of July. I like NaBloPoMo because it's pretty free-form and does not ask invasive personal questions like a lot of the other memes do. I am tempted to set a theme for the month but I also know there will be days I will have nothing clever or interesting to say and then be guilty of not sticking to the theme. So I've decided, the general theme will be Multiculturalism (it's a *very* broad topic when you think about it) but some days I will write fluff posts because I'm unable to channel the smarts.

So wish me luck and please do come back to see how I'm doing.

Being Bengali...

When I was younger, I thought I was far removed from the stereotypical "Bong" but over the years I've grown to realise how much of a Bengali I really am and there's no escaping really.

As much as I try to deny it, I am a little bit of a nerd who loves her literature (and Harry Potter) and enjoys nothing more than an afternoon spent curled up with her favourite book. I reserve the right to be nyaka the way only Bengalis can. I love my afternoon siesta and of late, I am even beginning to enjoy a cup of cha.

Music, prawns, family, being laidback, prizing intellectual achievments over being rich and famous, adda... the list of Bengali stereotypes I DO identify with goes on. But to me, the essence of being a Bengali is the passion we have for food. My personal love affair with food is such a large part of my identity. This is the 5th year in a row I'm not with my family for Poila Boisakh/ Nobo Borsho (Bengali New Year) and when I think about what I miss - it's definitely the family reunion but it's also most definitely the food.

The centrepiece of every Bengali festival/ function/ family occasion is food and LOTS of it. To the Bengali, food is not just something you eat when you're hungry. It is a passion that involves buying the perfect ingredients,  cooking it with lots of love and sharing it with people you love. Food, is not just about the food for a Bengali - it's about the whole experience.

Me, I have always been a food lover. I grew up with a mum who cooked everything from a boring bhindi to a fancy roast like a Masterchef and a Dad who (can cook but prefers not to :P) encouraged us to try everything - from the street food in Gariahat to the flash new restaurant on Park Street. Together they opened up our tastebuds (and minds) to food and experiences not many have been privileged to.

Of course, the Bengali passion for food is closely tied in with the Bengali sweet tooth. If there's anything a Bengali loves more than a good meal, it's a good meal that's finished off with an even better mishti or dessert. If you know me, you know that every meal is followed by an INTENSE craving for something sweet! Growing up, my cousins, my sister and I bonded over our common passion for good food and baking. One, of the four of us, was always baking ensuring the family was never deprived of sweet stuff. Over my holidays in India last December - our "going out" revolved around food, staying home also revolved around food (eating it or cooking it). We're not gluttons I promise, we're just gastronomes.

Today, I am a combination of my parents' passion for food - I enjoy cooking as much as I enjoy eating out at places small and big. Food makes me happy like nothing else and like a true Bengali, I'm doubly happy when I have someone to make goo goo eyes at my food with. They say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach - well the way to *this* woman's heart is definitely through her stomach. Treat me to a good meal and I will love you long time ;-)

You don't have to be born a Bengali in order to become one of course. If you grew up in Calcutta you are often a Bengali and food passionista by osmosis.

So, whether you're a Bengali by birth or a de facto Bong, I hope this Poila Boisakh is filled with an endless supply of good food and mishti. We might not know what year it is in the Bengali calendar, but we sure know how to celebrate it over a good meal ;-)

Here's to food...and being Bengali.

Shubho Nobo Borsho!

This Lent I Am Giving Up…Lent.

I am not religious. Being of Indian origin – that is almost as shocking as saying "I don't like cricket". In some cases it is synonymous. But I digress, as usual.

Religion plays a central role in the lives of a lot of people and I understand that. What I don’t understand is the patronising self-important smugness some people develop as certain religious holidays draw closer.

Lent has just kicked off and suddenly the previously hedonistic are showing off the guilty pleasures they have so heroically sacrificed. Most major religions in the world have a period of abstinence in their holy calendar and while this religion-fuelled detox makes sense for the truly religious – the buffet style, nouveau Religionistas are the ones that annoy me. When abstinence becomes a douchebag status symbol, it totally defeats the purpose doesn’t it? Kinda like charity. Or third world child adoptions.

There’s a South Park episode…(youbequiet. yes, I am one of *those* people who thinks of a South Park reference for everything #dealwithit)…where everyone gets hybrid cars – not to save the environment, but for pure Smug value. Religious abstinence is often the same.

Being [insert religion here] isn’t a part-time activity you indulge in for 40 days to absolve yourself of your 325 days of decadent, over-indulgence. Besides, if you are so smug about your abstinence, you’re probably doing it all wrong.  

Maybe, next time religion “compels” you to give up something – you will consider giving up self-indulgent Smugness. That would be an infinitely bigger sacrifice than abstaining from wine and cheese for 40 days. Amen.

of writing...

Writing. Is such a major part of who I am yet I have precious little to show for it.

I write (almost) every day for work but I don't write, for myself anymore.

My writing is very personal. When I say personal, I don't mean it's all about me, myself and my alter ego. I mean, for me to write about something, I have to feel passionately enough. And therein lies the problem.

I've been avoiding my feelings for a while now because facing them was too overwhelming too handle. My strong front has simply been a false bravado in the face of just not knowing what else to do.

But,

I think I’m ready now…to write and to babble, unnecessarily and without word limit.