Yoga in my living room

I've been trying to do more yoga at home lately. To relax and most importantly, to stretch and to prevent my lower back from seizing up as it does sometimes.

I do a Dynamic Flow Yoga class at the gym on Monday evenings. It's intense and a really great workout. To further supplement it, I've taken to YouTube and following workouts on the doyogawithme channel.  I'd love to join a proper yoga studio but it's just not practical at the moment so YouTube does just fine.

YouTube is great for yoga practice. There are so many videos for different levels. I invested in an HDMI cable ($4.95, thanks eBay!) and just hook it up to the TV so I don't have to squint at the screen.  I highly recommend it.

I did the sequence below on Sunday afternoon in my living room as I felt very tight and needed a gentle, guided stretch before the intense Flow Yoga class on Monday.  I found Melissa's video very soothing. She gradually takes you through the poses, all the while reminding you to be conscious of your breathing. Her voice is gentle, soft and doesn't rush you or push you to do anything you aren't comfortable with.

I will definitely be doing this stretch again as it's gentle and ideal for days when all you want is to stretch those aching muscles and prepare for hard work the next day.

My high

I've become one of those people who like exercise. I say become because I wasn't always a gym junkie. In fact, I never really played much sport in school (coordination doesn't feature in the top 10 list of my skills) and fitness for the sake of fitness isn't a huge part of the Indian culture I grew up in for 22 years. I never understood how people exercised voluntarily or craved a trip to the gym.

A few years ago, I was a bit of a mess. I was getting rapidly sucked into a vortex of black clouds and dementors and I didn't really get the help I needed. I'm stupidly stubborn like that sometimes. I don't like asking for help when I most need it so instead I chose to self-medicate. With exercise.

I'd had a gym membership for a while but I went sporadically and didn't really know what I was doing even when I was there. But during this point in my life, I was just looking for things to keep me busy and since I wasn't prepared to handle the guilt of cancelling my gym membership, I figured I may as well use it. (Yes, THAT was my motivation). So I started with a Body Pump class (I didn't know much about weight training so I thought I'd give it a go).

I could barely move the next day but I went back again (after about 3 days!). And again. And again. Somewhere along the way the endorphins replaced the dementors and its a high I did not want to get off from.

I can't pinpoint an exact moment of time when my attitude towards exercise changed but today I'm one of those people who is cranky when I can't exercise.

Exercise helped me love myself, love my body. Not be so conscious of my bum and love the definition in my thighs. Exercise makes me  feel sexy.

Exercise gives me a happy.

That's why I exercise.

Adieu 2012

Like any year, 2012 was filled with its ups and downs and flatlines. But a recent conversation with J made me realise the year was also full of moments where I found myself doing things I never thought I would.

Relationships change you, in good and bad ways. What I like about J and me is we're always pushing each other to do something different, to try a new experience, no matter how small. Don't get me wrong, we're not trying to change each other, we're just pushing each other's boundaries. And whether you come out of the experience hating it, loving it or just relieved that you're alive - you will have changed, just that little bit because you opened up yourself to something new and different.

So in my obligatory reflective post of 2012 in review, I thought I'd give myself a pat on the back for the things I never thought I would do...but I did.

I never thought I would...

• ...skydive! This is probably one of my biggest highs of 2012. On the 30th of December, somewhere over the Byron Bay hinterland, I jumped out of a plane at 14,000 feet! After 60 seconds of free falling, I cruised along on the parachute for about 5 minutes before hitting the ground and going "OH MY GOD. I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT!!" I am not very good with heights. I get wobble legs looking down from not-so-high bridges. I don't particularly like balconies in high rise buildings. And I'm not the biggest fan of roller coasters. So skydiving was a pretty amazing achievement and I really enjoyed it, to be honest. I'm super proud of myself!

• ...crave a steak! This is a source of amusement for most of my Australian friends I know but hey, when you grow up in a country where the cow can be holier than people, you don't exactly develop a palate for steak. But you can't have an Aussie boyfriend and get away with that really. In the past year, I have not only grown to like a (properly cooked) medium rare steak, I actually even crave it sometimes. Sorry cows.
• ...scuba dive! This is a partial achievement because I still have to finish part of the course but hey, I'm claiming it. I am not 100% comfortable under water so scbua diving was never on my list of things to do. But J got given a voucher for his 30th birthday and well, I sort of said a "yes, I'll do it too" without really thinking what I was getting into. Next thing I knew, I was spending 4 hours in a pool, learning how to scuba dive. Yay me!
• ...learn a language! Another partial achievement but sometimes just starting and committing to something is a big achievement. In July 2012, J and I started taking Spanish lessons and 6 months later, I am at least confident about having a basic conversation with people, asking for (and giving) directions, asking for help, ordering food and even making reservations. I've always wanted to learn a language but never thought I would seriously do it so I'm pretty stoked we're doing this so seriously.

• ...drink beer! Again, silly but a huge deal for me. I never drank beer until probably 3 months ago. I  didn't like the taste. But on our trip to Melbourne, some friends took us on a really cool pub crawl through Fitzroy and convinced me to order some pale ale at the Little Creatures brewery. "You can't order a wine at a brewery!" I have since been hooked to White Rabbit. I'll admit I will probably still hate a lot of beers (I'm looking at you VB and XXXX Gold) but I do like many more beers now. Especially the shmancy boutique beers ;-)
• ...do a Body Attack class! I'll be the first to admit cardio fitness isn't one of my strong points. I have to work a lot harder at it than most people and see results a lot slower. So the thought of doing a 1 hour high-impact, sporty cardio class that involves lots of jumping, running, aerobics and more, really intimidated me. But I went along for the ride one Saturday morning (I think I was too sleepy to realise what I getting myself into) and despite the struggle, the shortness of breath and slightly achy limbs - I loved it! I started doing it twice a week and it's a Saturday morning staple now. Gym classes are more amazing than people give them credit for (more of this in an upcoming post).
• ...be happy! Ok, not never but I did feel unhappy for a very long time and wasn't sure I'd ever be able to be happy for more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time. But I am. Something has changed this year and I am more positive, happier than I have ever been. I feel like I've found a lot of peace and am so much more aware of what makes ME happy. Still searching for my zen, but I'm happy knowing I'm getting there.

I hope 2013 is a year filled with many more "I never thought I would" moments too :)

#NaBloPoMo: In which I get a tad defensive

I exercise. A lot. Many of my friends don't understand it. They tell me "but you don't need to lose weight."

But when did I say anything about losing weight?

Exercising for me is not fuelled by the need to lose weight but by the fear my heart will stop pumping one of these days and I will fall off the face of the earth. You see, poor cardiovascular health is a multi-generational inheritance in my family. Fear is a pretty strong motivator. Also seeing the definition in my quads and shoulder muscles is an added bonus. ;-)

Obviously, eating is also part of the big "Beat the Impending Heart Attack Plan". I eat healthy, very healthy. (There, I said it) I look at the back of packets to see the fat content, % of sugar, artificial ingredients etc. I buy the wholegrain / low fat/ less sugar version of most foods. I eat "hipster" food like quinoa, buckwheat noodles, rye wraps and stoneground 85% wholemeal bread. I cook at least 5 times a week, if not 6 - mostly because I struggle to find healthy takeaway food that doesn't cost the moon and the stars.

This is where most people start rolling their eyes because this "healthy eating" translates to living off salad and veggies only. This is followed by feeling sorry for me and my deprived food choices and very often even judging me as vain.

But I don't understand it. If you know me even a little bit you will know how much I LOVE my food and live for it (see my Instagram for proof) so why do you feel sorry for me? Healthy eating is more than salads. Because food is so important to me, I cook really delicious meals that are also healthy. I have an emotional relationship with food so I always cook food I enjoy eating so please, don't worry I'm not depriving myself. I just know how to cook food that will not clog up my arteries and kill me.

I'm aware that I sound a bit like a privileged whinger banging on about health, fitness and other buzzwords. But I'm not. I don't normally talk about my fitness or my food with people because you see it's no one else's business. I don't try to get anyone to think the way I do and don't judge anyone for eating differently or for choosing a different lifestyle. But a few things have happened lately that have made me feel very…judged. So I figured I'd vent and defend my choices because hey you know what? It's my body so these are my choices and I'll get sexy thigh muscles if I want them dammit!

*This post is part of the November NaBloPoMo blogging challenge.