My high

I've become one of those people who like exercise. I say become because I wasn't always a gym junkie. In fact, I never really played much sport in school (coordination doesn't feature in the top 10 list of my skills) and fitness for the sake of fitness isn't a huge part of the Indian culture I grew up in for 22 years. I never understood how people exercised voluntarily or craved a trip to the gym.

A few years ago, I was a bit of a mess. I was getting rapidly sucked into a vortex of black clouds and dementors and I didn't really get the help I needed. I'm stupidly stubborn like that sometimes. I don't like asking for help when I most need it so instead I chose to self-medicate. With exercise.

I'd had a gym membership for a while but I went sporadically and didn't really know what I was doing even when I was there. But during this point in my life, I was just looking for things to keep me busy and since I wasn't prepared to handle the guilt of cancelling my gym membership, I figured I may as well use it. (Yes, THAT was my motivation). So I started with a Body Pump class (I didn't know much about weight training so I thought I'd give it a go).

I could barely move the next day but I went back again (after about 3 days!). And again. And again. Somewhere along the way the endorphins replaced the dementors and its a high I did not want to get off from.

I can't pinpoint an exact moment of time when my attitude towards exercise changed but today I'm one of those people who is cranky when I can't exercise.

Exercise helped me love myself, love my body. Not be so conscious of my bum and love the definition in my thighs. Exercise makes me  feel sexy.

Exercise gives me a happy.

That's why I exercise.

#NaBloPoMo: In which I get a tad defensive

I exercise. A lot. Many of my friends don't understand it. They tell me "but you don't need to lose weight."

But when did I say anything about losing weight?

Exercising for me is not fuelled by the need to lose weight but by the fear my heart will stop pumping one of these days and I will fall off the face of the earth. You see, poor cardiovascular health is a multi-generational inheritance in my family. Fear is a pretty strong motivator. Also seeing the definition in my quads and shoulder muscles is an added bonus. ;-)

Obviously, eating is also part of the big "Beat the Impending Heart Attack Plan". I eat healthy, very healthy. (There, I said it) I look at the back of packets to see the fat content, % of sugar, artificial ingredients etc. I buy the wholegrain / low fat/ less sugar version of most foods. I eat "hipster" food like quinoa, buckwheat noodles, rye wraps and stoneground 85% wholemeal bread. I cook at least 5 times a week, if not 6 - mostly because I struggle to find healthy takeaway food that doesn't cost the moon and the stars.

This is where most people start rolling their eyes because this "healthy eating" translates to living off salad and veggies only. This is followed by feeling sorry for me and my deprived food choices and very often even judging me as vain.

But I don't understand it. If you know me even a little bit you will know how much I LOVE my food and live for it (see my Instagram for proof) so why do you feel sorry for me? Healthy eating is more than salads. Because food is so important to me, I cook really delicious meals that are also healthy. I have an emotional relationship with food so I always cook food I enjoy eating so please, don't worry I'm not depriving myself. I just know how to cook food that will not clog up my arteries and kill me.

I'm aware that I sound a bit like a privileged whinger banging on about health, fitness and other buzzwords. But I'm not. I don't normally talk about my fitness or my food with people because you see it's no one else's business. I don't try to get anyone to think the way I do and don't judge anyone for eating differently or for choosing a different lifestyle. But a few things have happened lately that have made me feel very…judged. So I figured I'd vent and defend my choices because hey you know what? It's my body so these are my choices and I'll get sexy thigh muscles if I want them dammit!

*This post is part of the November NaBloPoMo blogging challenge.